I just want to introduce you all to one of my favorite females in scripture: Rhoda. (Found in CJB Acts 12)

“v.11 Then Kefa came to himself and said, “Now I know for sure that the Lord sent his angel to rescue me from Herod’s power and from everything the Judean people were hoping for.” 12 Realizing what had happened, he went to the house of Miryam the mother of Yochanan (surnamed Mark), where many people had gathered to pray. 13 He knocked at the outside door, and a servant named Rhoda came to answer. 14 She recognized Kefa’s voice and was so happy that she ran back in without opening the door, and announced that Kefa was standing outside. 15 “You’re out of your mind!” they said to her. But she insisted it was true. So they said, “It is his angel.” 16 Meanwhile, Kefa kept knocking; and when they opened the door and saw him, they were amazed. 17 Motioning to them with his hand to be quiet, he told them how the Lord had brought him out of the prison and said, “Tell all this to Ya’akov and the brothers.” Then he left and went elsewhere.”

Rhoda is a listening girl of God, a happy, joyous girl of God, and a insistent girl of God. Three qualities that work together admirably, and yet qualities we tend to segregate. She knew Peter’s (Kefa’s in the Hebrew) voice. Given that when the praying folks did open the door and Peter motioned them to be quiet, we can reasonable estimate Peter, realizing he had actually been gotten out of prison, probably would not have been shouting to draw attention. So, Rhoda really had to recognize his voice, having spent time in his presence when he was preaching loudly to still recognize it when he used it in a quieter called for situation. Her response is beautiful. She didnt open the door for him, but was so ELATED that she crashed the prayer meeting! She faced being called crazy by people superior in age and spirituality, she faced being told by those who were praying for Peter that she had heard Peter’s angel. These pray-ers must have thought she heard in the spiritual realm, but Rhoda announced that Peter was standing outside! (Not just that she had heard Peter.) It is a beautiful contrast of listening vs not listening. Their hearts were focused so much on praying, which itself is a good thing, that they deemed opening the door to Peter’s Angel less important than opening the door for Peter. I mean, Peter’s angel coulda given them heavenly knowhow to how Peter was faring, don’t you think? Kefa had to keep knocking for one of them to open the door. All this happened at night.

Had they ignored his knocking, they probably would’ve witnessed his trial ending in death, with the knowledge he had come to them, and that would be an awful thing to carry round the remainder of your life. Had Rhoda opened the door, her blessings would have differed. Had she opened the door for Peter and Peter walked into the prayer meeting, given their heart condition I can only imagine what a stir that might’ve caused. The fact that someone opened the door for him, muchless her nature might’ve been lost to history. As it was God used Rhoda as a vessel to tell others who were praying, that their prayers had been answered, probably along with her own. We don’t know what happened to her after she insisted Peter was standing outside but since she was a girl, not woman. I would guess she was detained or prevented from opening the door, since her news was not taken positively. Rhoda, in Hebrew means “Rose.” We ought not ignore the listening, joyous, insistent roses the Lord uses to woo us in our spiritual lives.


I personally grew up in a home where, though God brought teachers, mentors and friends into my life to teach me truth and He spoke to me through His word, I lacked guidance I wish I had had from those godly guidance within the family unit . I know many of the younger generation now and those coming to Christ who don’t have strong, wholistic biblical guidance ache too for the piece that may always not be there, but God’s word is never failing, never lacking. Here are some starter verses to begin praying for God to guide you:

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.”
Psalm 32:8

“You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.”
Psalm 73:24

“A good man deals graciously and lends;
He will guide his affairs with discretion.”
Psalm 112:5

“The integrity of the upright will guide them,
But the perversity of the unfaithful will destroy them.”
Proverbs 11:3

“To give light to those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death,
To guide our feet into the way of peace.”
Luke 1:79

“However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.”
John 16:13

So, we need to pray that God teach us more about, draw us closer and keep us sensitive to which of the above He is particularly using to understand why:

1. His eye
2. His council
3. Discretion
4. Integrity
5. The way of peace
6. Into all truth

Now, let’s dig a tad deeper in each and what the seasons look like with them:

His eye

To begin this short section, we must lay a foundation of understanding the term “apple of His, Your eye” found in the Bible-mentioned four times. Interpreted two ways, both as precious in sight to Him and as vulnerable physical quality of the pupil. If someone were to poke their finger in your own eye, our proper bodily reaction/response is both to shut our eyes as a muscular contraction to release tears and hopefully put up our hands as additional shield from further attack. Still, it surprises people that believers who have a love for the word do this in the spiritual sense when in a season of intense warfare. Some of the ancient Hebraic prayers encouraged the use of hands covering the face when in prayer to God because He was and is Holy out of respect. Now, in battle, we approaching the enemy. However, we are told the helmet of salvation should be fitted to our faces as protection for our head parts, including our eyes. Proverbs 7:2 says “Keep my commands and live, and my law as the apple of your eye.” God describes with us in scripture that when someone touches us as believing disciples, a visual of them touching His eye. If someone pokes Him in His pupil, don’t think He will do nothing about it.

His Council

Sometimes God leads us in a season, though we ought to continually be growing in wisdom from godly council, honing understanding of good wholistic council, its administration, into reception, on one topic or another found in His Word. Council, as an entity in the gospels consisted of a mis of these factions of people: Pharisees, scribes, elders, chief priests. Joseph of Arimathea who had Yeshua buried was a member of the council. They are the ones accountable to, if you used the word “Raca” on a brother. (A word and mindset of despising another person made in His image). Paul was brought before the council in regards to the debate of outside interpretation of discounting the Torah of Moshe/Moses, or despising the law. The council, bottom line deals with disrespect. So, when we pray for God to guide us in His council, we desire to learn through His word with the now present help of concordance as a tool, about respecting God, respecting His creation, distinguishing what God defines as disrespectful or unworthy vs worthy.


The nine verses (NKJV) that mention discretion most often describe this as a season or learning how to deal with things graciously, learning about how and from what the Lord is preserving you, and the training of being slow to anger. The beauty of fruit preserves, is there’s different flavors and yet they all taste sweet. Likewise discretion ought to be sweet. Graciousness is the catalyst for entrusting another’s discretion. However this world grows ever more selfish in both heart and mind. It is oft said in Christian circles that grace is us being given what we don’t deserve. So the transaction proceeds as expectation to be given what we don’t deserve in exchange for personal information. We use wisdom to determine a persons consistency of character before giving them sensitive information about our lives hopefully. More and more people display lack of grace or discernment, easily offended and quick to offend, which, by Webster’s definition is pure antithesis of discretion.


Though it is something we are called to walk in, this aspect of guidance has a hinge-like nature. Although Psalm 78:2 references Jacob’s shepherding the people, the integrity of our own lives in relationship to God allows or disallows the capacity of realizing how He shepherds us and allows others to see His skill in our lives. Proverbs 10:9 also tells us that walking with integrity, we walk securely. It is a word used by People such as Paul, Solomon, David, Job and Abimilech who unwittingly took Abrams wife for himself, being told she was Abraham’s sister. Integrity is something considerable by our Creator, something we rely on His uprighting us as well as one of four core pieces to Titus’s writing of doctrine (the others being reverence, incorruptibility, and sound speech that cannot be condemned) Titus 2:7-8.

The Way of Peace

Luke 1:77-79 keys the need for knowledge by the remission of sins. Our Guide and the Prince Himself of peace cannot lead us in the way of peace, when we insist in sin and turmoil. I went through a divorce two years ago, and though I had experienced Yeshua’s protection in the midst of the battlefield, experienced His covering, experienced the Joy of His Holy Spirit in worship which at two different times, once transported me to the heavenlies where I actually felt my soul come back into my body and another time when I had to ask God to stop because I felt like my physical body would burst, and I experienced the warm and gentle Love of the Holy Spirit the day I was baptized, I had never experienced such a calm, even though the family unit was in an uproar over what half thought I had done, the other of what they saw and read my spouse doing. I understood then what “peace that PASSES understanding” truly meant. It is the way that

Those who insist on making their own crooked path
Those who live for and in injustice
Those who do not seek after God

do not know, as mentioned in Isaiah 59:8 & Romans 3:17. The way of peace is a blessing first given and seen in Judges 18:6 by the priest, echoed by the Pharisee turned missionary disciple of Yeshua, Paul, in 2 Thessalonians 3:16.

Into all Truth

We must bear in mind the origin of this “into all truth” is NOT as modern Christians tend to interpret truth being in everything including pagan stories as the key core of the gospels. We have switched the Comissioner’s intention if we do to rather not hide the Word of God in our hearts, properly using cultures understanding to point them toward the Truth, the Word of God, but have laid a foundation of culture first sprinkled with itty bitty pieces of scripture. There are two included crucial traits of the Spirit that leads in all Truth. Namely:

He will not speak on His own authority
He will tell you things to come

Now he may not for our own growth do both things simultaneously every/all the time as our spirit may need to digest one piece of scriptural truth before moving on to another, but He WILL always be in alignment with the Truth, the Word of God holistically, that you can find the truth of what was said time and time again through the old and new testaments.

Love of the Law

In Christianity loving the Torah is looked upon often and by many with disgust. We tend to tie up the definition of love in that one singular Corinthians passage as an easy to remember. Though reasonably you can apply definition to it, it is a list of love’s behaviors and non behaviors.

8 Things Love does not:


Parade itself

Is not puffed up
Behave rudely
Seek its own
Thinks no evil
Rejoice in iniquity

7 Things love does

Suffers long and is kind

Rejoices in the truth

Bears all things

Believes all things

Hopes all things

Endures all things

Never fails

With such a list sometimes if not more oft than not it is easier to love quietly in the heart. Some people choose paths that we are not allowed by others to love because we are rejected along with Christ, but the definition of love stands to love actively to the actively understanding and the passionate learners and fellow observers of His love. I include observers because we need and are called to observe the law, to observe His love, how Christ loves us, not just how we feel He might love us that is based on our selfish interpretation and feelings over the lining up of scripture.

Love is

Better than wine (Song of Solomon 1:2)
As strong as death (Song of Solomon 8:6)
The fulfillment of the law (Romans 13:10)
Of God (1 John 4:7)

The words of Jesus resonate in my heart, “IF you love Me, keep My commandments.” John 14:15

Why should I? The spiritual youth might ask. Out of the 16 times this shows up in scripture (keeping commandments), these four benefits appear:

1. Deeper understanding of His Lordship (Leviticus 22:31)
2. His giving rain in due season and thus land and tree bear produce and fruit (Leviticus 26: 3-4)
3. His Mercy (Deuteronomy 5:10)
4. Gathering to and by Him to “the place which I have chosen as a dwelling for My name”. (Nehemiah 1:9)

Unknown Life

Water pelting on my palms,
Reflexive waterfall.
My soul, my eyes,
My tears in His bottle.
His tears pepper my hands.
Like the joy
I begged to be filled with,
I begged cessation.
I cannot hold
My Master’s beautiful tears.
My body can’t withstand His delight.
I question my testament
As His witness.
Yet, is this question selfish?
I close my eyes,
And feel the unendingness,
The sighs and dryness
Of calloused winces.
Would that I could cry,
But the river has run dry.
His coal fire has my lips
Searching the dark world
For tinder and flint.
Tender lips of mine,
Crack and bleed.
Leaving a trail
Of the Truth behind me
That thirsty souls
Dare not quench.
A liquid described, ordained
Both intimate and precious.
My tears now sound,
Not as drops
But veil-rending screams.
I hear you Creation,
I hear hurting people
I hear you Savior,
Your words from so long ago.
An ancient song–
One of things set right.
Pelting water
Soothes my blood
Inside this tent
But my lips
My lips
So long,
So cooled and dying,
Are ignited.
I close my eyes,
Remembering the warmth
Of the afternoon sun
Gently touching my skin
As the frigid breeze
Tickled my face,
Sweeping over
The air aswirl
With friendly gold and frosty silver.
How not unlike the soul inside,
Feeling the unobtainable warmth of
The Spring of resurrection
But swept over snuffed
By the glacial song of death on
Hell’s barren cold brimstone.


God’s Stuffed Animals

“Hold fast” used to be a cultural family motto to which I belonged. I used to hate it, and have long struggled with the motto because it was saturated in pride and self-strength. It was an ugly thing. However, today God is working in me restoration and healing. Yesterday, I had an unpleasant encounter with a person who threatened to tell an authoritative figure their side of the encounter which the individual believed would be wholeheartedly received and believed by the authority figure which would result in something unjustly taken away from me. Already this week I’ve faced the increased concern of flooding where I live in Northern California. I put the few things I have from my past, my film notes from school, my childhood drawings, as high up as I was able since I live by a place near where water has filled up on the other side. The questions rattle round my brain. Is it safe to leave my rabbit home alone? Should I take him with me, being on the ground floor? If it flooded would there be damage? How much water would come through? (When it would be great to have a mathematician mind to calculate the gallons of water, distance, rate flow etc., but I’m an artist.) Only one other time has an individual done this to me unjustly in my twenties, and the figure in authority didn’t even listen or acknowledge I had a side to the story in a church setting, so having the encounter I did the other day, heaped on with about 20 years I’ve stepped away from, was like an emotional river I tried to keep my head above water. I took a long walk and that helped distance myself emotionally from breaking down sobbing, to sort things, pull certain thoughts, come up with questions and focus on the Truth. However, it didn’t help my recurring feeling of wanting to wretch/vomit, which I only used to deal with when I went through a series of rejections 12 years prior for several years, off and on. Nor did it help my nerves. It was only til today that I could actually cry and let the tears out, even though I wasn’t sure what particular pain from the past I needed to feel release from. I called a friend, prior to my tearful short release alone, and at the end she suggested I give my bunny a cuddle. Reminding her that my bunny doesn’t do cuddles (having been kicked and hurt by others) she suggested a stuffed animal. That got me to thinking of a time long, long ago watching my mother sew from a pattern a dinosaur stuffed critter for my cousins with cute, beady, black eyes and movable legs. I myself as a kid had a plethora of stuffed animal friends. Now, as an adult, I have a few that are gifts or souvenirs from traveling. But it got me to thinking about the power of holding something. How much that must touch the lives of those who HAVE lost everything, whether in a flood or earthquake or windstorm. We often treat those situations (or can) with the colloquial “Well, you didn’t lose ‘everything’, you still have your life and family…you’re still alive.” But we forget then the importance of family heirlooms, the history. Sure, we can tell things and pass things down verbally, but to see a tangible object as a lesson of something put into our hands has power to brand upon soul and mind. Sometimes we need the hug or wrapping of the Holy Spirit, but there are times when we need to hug some THING…when we need something small, yet powerful to hold on to. To “hold fast.” To cuddle and cry. To squeeze. Now, the Holy Spirit is not small nor an object, but peace is holdable, not always holding something or our words in, but a “stuffed animal”, if you will, from our Abba Daddy for those of us who had or have had challenging or unhealthy relationship with a parent or parents. Here is a short list of things I found listed in my Strong’s Concise Concordance under “hold & holding”:

peace, that which is good, the word of life, traditions taught by word or epistle, faith, a good conscience, eternal life, the form of sound words, confidence and rejoicing of the hope, the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end, our profession/confession (of Jesus), the hope set before us.

God only knows which stuffed animals you need to hug today, but He knows. We may grow up into adults, but I believe it is a human need, not in a unhealthy, codependent way, but just a need when you’re really hurting inside, when cuddling in your blankets or bed just isn’t enough. Sometimes we just need a stuffed animal. Not a pet or another person that might grow tired of being held. Even though the attributes listed are not wholly inanimate, their healing properties nourish our soul in order to further the Lord’s work. For those of you who also need to hug something today, I hope this brings you comfort, releases and restores.

List of referential verses:
Prov 17:28
“Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.”
1 Thes 5:21
“Test all things; hold fast what is good.”
Phil 2:16
“holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.”
Phil 2:29
“Receive him therefore in the Lord with all gladness, and hold such men in esteem”
2 Thes 2:15
“Therefore, brethren, stand fast and hold the traditions which you were taught, whether by word or our epistle.”
1 Tim 1:19
“having faith and a good conscience, which some having rejected, concerning the faith have suffered shipwreck,”
1 Tim 6:12
“Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”
2 Tim 1:13
“Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus.”
Heb 3:6 the confidence and…
“but Christ as a Son over His own house, whose house we are if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm to the end.”
Heb 3:14
“For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end,”
Heb 4:14 & 10:23
“Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.”
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.”
Heb 6:18
“that by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us.”

Abuse & Overcoming

I will begin archaically with a anecdote. A long time ago in a not so far away city, a woman walked along the sidewalk on a warm Indian Summer day in autumn. She was hunched over, her heart full of tears and scarred from the many times she had been emotionally and internally stabbed. She looked and felt defeated. She thought about about moving towns, to gain a fresh start, yet at the same time felt like she could not escape what had happened to her on the inside, what people did not see. Suddenly a subconcious stream hit her providing a current for her to swim. An epiphany came to her. She had a choice! She could move in the physical sense from place to place and town to town never being able to run from things because they were on the inside of her or she could take a stand. She stopped as the light went on in her eyes, realizing how ridiculous it was to let one person, even if it were her mentor, or anyone for that matter pretend to be God. She wouldn’t let a 50 something year old woman push her out of town just because the mentor had become a wedge and more influential with her fiance than she! She had crossed an entire continent to get to California! She stood resolutely and spoke into the cosmos/universe/spirit world/spiritual realm that she wasn’t going to be PUSHED anymore! SHE WAS STAYING!

It was only nearly a decade later after confronting her own father who had throughout her life called her disrespectful whether she opened her mouth or chose to remain quiet and a juvenile delinquent most of her young adulthood, and been through two relationships, one which she legally got married to a verbally abusive, undiagnosed narcissistic personality, that she really began to delve into the topic of abuse and recall the instant she took initiative to not get pushed around by her mentor. It was a saving moment. It allowed her to confront her father, to lose her fear, to embrace the just lividness of mistreatement while not fighting fire with fire. It allowed her the strength to stand up to her husband who called her things behind closed doors and not be able to deal with the emotions he elicited in her by his unequal treatment. The persistence; strength to stand. Research and recall of this pivitol moment of several things in that moment and the number of people she had also met in her life that had been abused, by a stranger, by a parent, by a former relationship(s), by a spouse…the epiphany and the psychological detail to that epiphany I experienced I wish I could have shared with them and want to share with others.

In my research as to explanation to myself and to others why I took the path I took, though determined to avoid, I am just starting to learn the medical terms for things but English-put, there are peptides (chemicals) in our brain we get addicted to and the more we feed that experience or emotion without change, we become ABUSE ADDICTS. Recalling my experience with my mentor and my choice to not move cities, I realize now what I didn’t have the words for then. Here is what people need to realize: that freedom realization comes in many phrasing, but here is mine logically: I realized that I was contemplating two roads. I was contemplating a choice. Choice means freedom. I had FREEDOM TO CHOOSE what path I would take. That was POWERFUL.

Unfortunately, so many abused or abuse addicts gain the emotional weight if you will of being fed poison from poisonous words that just like people who struggle with eating and losing weight, dieting, etc, people with emotional weight struggle with the losing of the words of poison of emotional junk food. It is hard to know what a healthy diet of truth and encouragement tastes like. It’s like you are afraid to eat it or it tastes so good you wolf it down not knowing or believing you could have more. Many people’s experience with biblical truth is also part of the abuse because it is associated with negativity and unacceptance (not for their behavior or sin) but them as a person. So if their soul doesn’t matter, why should their emotions?
There are three main things I want to discuss as a starter to this vast topic that are three building blocks of foundation.

Here is number 1:

The Bible tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Hence it is important to develop a relationship and hold fast this truth to love God, seeing He is a loving Creator. This is so, so foreign to someone who has had their walls torn down their entire or most of their life. And especially if one is introduced to abuse at a younger age, when legally, you do not have freedom to leave. It can mentally/psychologically be more of a CHALLENGE to realize your rights to boundaries and walls. You were supposed to be guarded and protected, but your walls were torn down by someone more physically powerful than yourself, of adult advanced mental capability of deceit and credibility and of course again backed by the law, a very powerful entity which can place you with certain people. Your walls of beauty and the beauty of protection has been distorted and called ugly.

Most all of us have seen a toddler realize their power for the first time in knocking down a tower of building blocks or legos or whatever and the power thrill they get at the new realization of demolition. Its somewhat cute/non harmful with building blocks but we hopefully chide them and tell them the lesson that its is not good to knock down something so carefully put together by themself or someone else because it is a lot easier to demolish than the time it takes to build something up. Plus it makes a mess and if they don’t clean it up someone will have to. Otherwise people can trip, step and hurt their feet, and it takes up room with the mess.

The Bible tells us God FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY made us. That we are the Temples of the Holy Spirit. Just as the physical temple in the Bible had a blueprint with unique features and sub-features, each one of us throughout history has had a different set of fingerprints. We are unique temples and no one else is the same temple. We are fortified with Temple walls to fortify us uniquely as no other person can be because we are individuals who yes, deal with humanity general things that tie us together through common experience. However, our walls are specifically designed, fearfully, considerately designed by God. And they are called wonderful along with all our other aspects He created.

When I had that subconscious stream hit me along with the epiphany regarding my mentor, I made a conscious decision. I not only realized things were not working anymore, I realized I was making a choice. And in realizing I was making a choice, I realized I have freedom! The FREEDOM is ALREADY IN MY CONTEMPLATED CHOICE. People in healthy households might not understand the trials others go through and might ask things like: Why dont some people realize that? Or have trouble dealing with that? Believing that? WHY ARE THE SEEMINGLY CONSTANTLY SEARCHING FOR FREEDOM? Because they have been MENTALLY RAPED.

Society and “Help” teach power without telling them the point here in this article of WHERE Freedom is. Yes, it is inside, Yes, it is in Christ, BUT WHERE in HIM?
Because People who have not been told it is not good to knock down legos or building blocks early in life, proceed to adulthood with a powerhungry God complex lacking in empathy or respect for others, including their thought processes. Or they fall away and forget.

They become bigger than the abused. They block out God to the best of their capability and the sight of him to the abused/weaker or weaker minded person and are used by the enemy, Satan, to tear down God’s temple walls. Walls are there to protect you. God built them because HE CHERISHES you as a human being! He wants us to see the walls and ask His help in keeping them up, which brings me to point number two.

Here is number 2:

The second part of this on the psychological level is that society will tell us much about loving ourselves. Indeed, that is an important part. Loving ourselves is loving what God created and should draw us closer and deeper to understanding His design of our temple and Him. However, the lack of the two other loves are not really propagated, yet are essential and here is why: If you love only yourself, you can fall into the trap of self love and forget to love others or just as worse become self absorbed and forget where we came from or even that we were lovingly designed and fall into the trap of pride. Or to love God (who IS LOVE) who Created you and wants to share a heart with you, a connection. The Bible tells us the two greatest (not only) commandments are to LOVE GOD AND LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.

Here is number three:

Love others as you love yourself. Three essentials: Love God. Love yourself. Love others as you love yourself. By loving ourselves, by paying attention and taking care of our bodies and souls, we deeper understand how were designed/built and the love of God in the detail and time of His design and uniqueness that then, we in turn can love others and tell them the same message of how God loves them too. The play Les Miserables so beautifully words why it is important to love others and the essence of that aspect: “To love another person is to see the face of God.” God may be invisible, but he made US in His own image, so that while we may not be able to physically and directly personally see Him til heaven, he calls us to love one another. Many get caught in the trap of hopelessness, lies etc. Again and again in good council and speakers on the topic the refrain is the key is realization, realization of the way you are designed, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, but it can’t and should not just stop there.

Why the cycle of abuse continues is: LACK OF PRAYER WHICH MOVES GOD’S HAND TO CHANGE A PERSONS HEART WHICH WE CANNOT DO AS HUMANS. We can merely help on the psychological level explaining the process of what happens when we are abused but it is the individual who needs prayer and for YOU to be a GOOD, HEALTHY example because they are the only one who can choose whether or not they continue getting abused, but you CAN help them, as I have in this letter, speaking from experience, they HAVE THE POWER OF CHOICE, They were created with walls, that boundaries and healthy walls CAN BE REBUILT even though it may take time. AND that FREEDOM is ALREADY IN THEIR CONTEMPLATING CHOICES OR PSYCHOLOGICAL PATHS OF TRUTH AND LIES.

I have faced and may continue to battle in years to come the lie, “Oh you don’t deserve a good healthy relationship because of things you have done” or “You’ve been through so much unhealthy stuff, what spiritually healthy person would want you, what hope to you have?” Well, if your hope is NOT in Jesus, you do not have hope! Because HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT. People DO disappoint. So THE FREEDOM YOU ARE SEEKING IS ALREADY IN YOUR CONTEMPLATION OF THE MIND OF REALIZING


A Silent Valentine

Valentines 2017. Today’s Facebook feed showed more than one creatively done video composed about how labels inhibit love. Although Christianity responds positively to do as we ought, seeing a person for who they are, a sneaky little unholy bit is left out. The problem starts with us. Our definition and equality of labels and boundaries. Though we have a desire within our hearts to rip division away, the only one who can do that is Jesus. is God. Does that mean we are not to be like Him? As Paul would say, “Certainly not!” However, we need to check ourselves. We as human beings reasoned ourselves out of God’s “Do not eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil…” believing the enemy, who had broken off from God. Satan wanted to strip the structure of Gods Holy and good way. He outright lied to us. Satan flat out told humans they would NOT die, but that they would be like God. He was the contrary voice instituting a concern about not being like God. Not being Holy, not being set apart. Sounds much like self righteousness does today. We do need to speak the truth in love.

We very often cave to the enemy’s lie and tell people who are in sin, “you shall surely not die” “all roads lead to heaven” “heaven allows the impure abomination of homosexuality” at this point, a bunch of you will probably flip me the bird, defriend me or whatever. I am not talking bout hating homosexuals. I had a “Christian” friend who took blind pride in hating them. I had to delete that person out of my life and cut them off completely. The same videos that promote these good intentions group a lot of what one of them called, “isms” I believe there is danger when we treat all issues with a blanket rather than look at the details. To put it in practical terms, if you tried to treat cancer of the blood the same way you treat another type of cancer, say of the bone marrow, results could be disastrous. So we swing into all encompassing individualism.

The mode of thought, everyone doing what is right in their own eyes. Now at a glance someone might ask or think that Holiness is just another form of all encompassing labeling. That of Holiness. But when we think of our negativity toward holiness…where did that negativity come from? Was it God that abused holiness or a person, a spiritual leader, the church made up of imperfect human beings or a once called Christian friend? Satan wanted Gods power. Satan is the one who works at deceiving us into his power with no responsibility way of thought. His very first evil mission was to divide mankind, who was made in Gods image by getting Man and woman to doubt they were made in Gods image, that they needed to be like God. And thus ou sands of years of history where mankind has set idols for themselves worshipping creation, material, themselves.

Our desire for Eden’s return runs deep, but we are taking it upon ourselves to create it over, by shows and eateries that celebrate nudity in a imperfect lust prone and prideful world. There is power in stripping away labels. Power in no borders. But if we don’t look at the disaster that happened at the first necessary boundary, we learn nothing. Think a moment if Satan had not been cast away from purity, if God were really tainted, not just that people misrepresented God? There would be no hope, no Jesus, there would be no Eden. There would be no lake of fire. There would be no hell, but because Satan is not God and never had Gods power to create, there would be nothing, not even void. No limbo, no place for your soul after death, no cemetery plot, no earth no hell no heaven. That’s a thought of magnitude. It’s a scary thought. But the possibility of what could have been has the wonderful ability to draw us back to the truth of what mercifully is. It is hard to imagine or conceptualize purity in this ever increasing impure world and society, but when we find something good, we desire to preserve it, to protect it, be it a beautiful relationship we fight for or a gift given to us by a real friend to preserve the memory and time shared. God is pure and Holy. Now regarding race, the church has long and wrongly abused and misused the color of skin, a physical element as a claim of spiritual inferiority. However, when it comes to homosexuality, though they too are not less as people, we as Christians have and continue to dichotomize and redefine what spiritually God says is an abomination and clearly cannot reside in heaven with Him. It is not solely a physical or psychologically chemical issue, not is it solely a spiritual disembodied issue. Racism, with dark-skinned nationalities tried to misrepresent non whites as descendants from Cain, calling him cursed and thus his descendants but if they had read their bible more clearly, they would see Gods love and protection as God put a mark on Cain, not out of condemnation, but to keep Cain from harm.

Unlike our skin color that was given to us by God that science so far has not figured out a way to change, homosexuality is a spiritual abomination, whose physiochemical elements/part has been figured out by science how to tweak. The issue is that we as humanity contradict the form, the image, if you will, God designed, to tailor is to how we “feel”. God is left out. God is not inquired of. If we contradict what scripture says we are responsible for lying to the homosexuals. Homosexuality is a spiritual abomination that if we do not detach and ask for healing from the one who became a curse so we could have eternal blessing– if we live lying consistently, liars also cannot reside with Him.

Holiness has become negative in humanity’s eyes. Yet, King David sings of the beauty of Holiness. Paul, who lived his life as Pharisee Saul of self righteousness thought of as being set apart came face to face with the compassion and power of Holiness and was able to from then on the difference and dedicated His life to sharing what Holiness truly was and is and is to come. We are supposed to live out “Thy will be done on earth AS it IS in heaven” note the as it is statement. We are to understand heaven and God and Jesus by His word, not our own standard. His imagination for wonderful Holy things is beyond ours, though we can strive to artistically imagine. The Bible does not say: “Thy (or our) will be done in heaven as it is on earth.” We have tried that over and over and over and most people complain bout how bad the world is becoming what with war and rape and bloodshed and hate and selfishness and greed. That is not what the Kingdom of Heaven is made of. That is not what Gods children of His Kingdom ought to be made of. In spreading the lies that are right in man’s eyes over loving and sharing what is right in God’s and the hope, we are no better than a silent Valentine.

Love: Not an Expiriment

I have made a few mistakes in my life when it comes to choice of love. I am an artist, and in the past “loved” love, which is not entirely a bad thing. God is love, and to have His heart to love is a great gift to share. But, it can also be taken advantage of, even though people claim Christ do not always lead fruitful lives. Just as scripture calls us not to ask who will go to heaven or hell as spoken of in Romans 10:6-8, so too does God not wish us to nullify feelings. The Christian popular colloquialism is to use the idea (or saying) not to trust our feelings because they can lead us astray. Now, for years as a writer, people have brought up on occasion my fascination of word usage, calling me “nit picky”. However, I believe that when we speak something we give it power to influence our thoughts, and ironically our feelings, toward various topics.

The scripture has a lot to say about feelings, or sense. For starters, as an artist, God designed us to feel and sense. Bugs have to rely mostly on their antennae. Snakes smell through their tongues. But us? We don’t have fur. We were given skin. Merely googling my question of how many nerve endings the body contains, ask.com estimates 95-100 billion! On top of that we have ears and eyes and tongue and nose. Perhaps we do not give enough gravity or breadth to the statement about not trusting or following our heart/feelings/senses. Perhaps we should rectify the doctrinal statement to: we shouldn’t trust our feelings devoid of wisdom. Why? What is the big deal, you ask? Because to borrow another colloquialism: “it goes without saying”. If things go without saying, without challenge or inspection for truth that thing will keep going out and spreading.

The Bible has a lot to say about discernment and wisdom. Feelings devoid of scriptural founding, yes, will lead us astray. However, that does not mean (as many of us know) that we should ignore our feelings altogether. The scripture also has a lot to say about the lack of feeling, the uncompassionate, the burned conscience, etc. It differentiates between the heart of stone and the heart of flesh. Because I have made not-so-smart choices in my own love life, and because of that now struggle with love and trust of another person ever again, I hate to see anyone pass up what could be something lasting if God is leading them toward someone, just because the church may tell them to not trust what God gave them. I am not saying at ALL to get with someone before marriage, nononono. I am merely stating that the colloquialism not to trust our feelings, is in itself, a feeling, or a lack of feeling. It is called fear. Not fear of God but of man. God (Who is love…pure love casts out fear). Fear is also described as a spirit in scripture, and we are called to test the spiritual/spirits against scripture. If it doesn’t sit well with what scripture has told us to be true, that is a sense to our hearts and spirit for a reason. We, our hearts, are also soul/spirit, so we need to test our own desires with those of Our Creator.

I hope people here have had a blessed Valentines Day and pass this along to those struggling with feelings. Feelings, are in essence, an occurrence when something external touches our bodies or soul/aura, or minds. It can be gentle, hurtful, deceptive or true and convicting. Take it from not only one who has “loved” love but loved individuals with fierce loyalty as a trait from upbringing, but who found the scriptural truth that we need wisdom in order to trust God’s love and affection for us before we can begin to establish feelings which may be devoid of His trust and wisdom. Before we establish feeling that may not account for God’s feelings in and surrounding any romantic relationship. As I wrote this past week (when questioned on this topic of why not living together before marriage) to keep it simple stupid–it’s about not hiding your light under a bushel and experimentation. Rather it’s about trust and surety.

The mentality of “let us try this out and see if it works” doesn’t work. Even married couples who are Christians get divorced because they don’t either originally have a solid foundation together in Jesus or one or both of them let go of their relationship with Jesus. Even though you may not think you’re hiding when you live together, you’re hiding from the commitment, hiding service and blessing of God, hiding from His blessing on your Union as a public celebration of witnessing what He is doing in each individual unified in marriage as a ministry. Take it from someone who has seen, experienced, read the Word, continues to deepen understanding, and loves feircly because God Himself showed deep, deep love, grace and discipline to me. But, don’t JUST take it from me, take it from Love Himself: God, Who created every billion, zillion of your nerve endings of your body and breathed nafesh (spiritual life, a soul) into you at conception and knows things you cannot even see with your sensory eyes.

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Biblically Loud Voices

I’ve seen them on the street corners since moving out on my own and now they’ve moved into the Internet as well on the corners of “Commentary Ave.”, no matter what social media one uses. This got me thinking how and when Jesus (and the scripture) mentions when someone cried out in a LOUD VOICE!!! In the Concise Strong’s concordance I have, there are 60 verses under the topic “LOUD”. It’s been the ever increasingly disturbing combination of lying or chosen philosophies plus internet memes (pictures with quotations/half quotations) that have concocted beliefs not looked at with the concordance and time.

People who claim Jesus can sometimes have this idea that He was loudly throwing temper tantrums or loudly rebuking people with a critical spirit devoid of love, discernment, unbalanced by biblical wisdom. We are a far cry from fulfilling the great commission in making disciples with our gong mouths. However, we don’t have to be! There is a need for us who claim Him to look closer to what acceptable or evil things are LOUD!!! Here are 6 categories:

What people were loud about to one another

What good things people were loud about to God

What Jesus was loud about

What God’s angels are loud about

What fallen angels/forces of evil were loud about

In What heart the message was given?

How it was received by others?


So let’s check this out and see what we can learn contextually from blueletterbible.com NKJV:

1. When people cried out with a loud voice to another person

Genesis 39:14
that she called to the men of her house and spoke to them, saying, “See, he has brought in to us a Hebrew to mock us. He came in to me to lie with me, and I cried out with a loud voice”. (Potifar’s wife)

Deuteronomy 27:14-26
(This was spoken in the passage contextually where God implores His desire for us to choose life and lists all the blessings in Deuteronomy 28)
“And the Levites shall speak with a loud voice and say to all the men of Israel: Cursed is the one who makes a carved or molded image, an abomination to the LORD, the work of the hands of the craftsman, and sets it up in secret.’ “And all the people shall answer and say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who treats his father or his mother with contempt.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who moves his neighbor’s landmark.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who makes the blind to wander off the road.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who perverts the justice due the stranger, the fatherless, and widow.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who lies with his father’s wife, because he has uncovered his father’s bed.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who lies with any kind of animal.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who lies with his sister, the daughter of his father or the daughter of his mother.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who lies with his mother-in-law.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who attacks his neighbor secretly.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who takes a bribe to slay an innocent person.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’ ‘Cursed is the one who does not confirm all the words of this law by observing them.’ “And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’

1 Sam 28:12
When the woman saw Samuel, she cried out with a loud voice. And the woman spoke to Saul, saying, “Why have you deceived me? For you are Saul!”

2 Sam 19:4
But the king covered his face, and the king cried out with a loud voice, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!”

1 Kings 8:55-61
Then he stood and blessed all the assembly of Israel with a loud voice, saying: ‘Blessed be the LORD, who has given rest to His people Israel, according to all that He promised. There has not failed one word of all His good promise, which He promised through His servant Moses. May the LORD our God be with us, as He was with our fathers. May He not leave us nor forsake us, that He may incline our hearts to Himself, to walk in all His ways, and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His judgments, which He commanded our fathers. And may these words of mine, with which I have made supplication before the LORD, be near the LORD our God day and night, that He may maintain the cause of His servant and the cause of His people Israel, as each day may require, that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God; there is no other. Let your heart therefore be loyal to the LORD our God, to walk in His statutes and keep His commandments, as at this day.”

2 Kings 18:28
Then the Rabshakeh stood and called out with a loud voice in Hebrew, and spoke, saying, “Hear the word of the great king, the king of Assyria! ( seeking to draw people into fear and out of Trusting God)

2 Chronicles 32:18
Then they called out with a loud voice in Hebrew to the people of Jerusalem who were on the wall, to frighten them and trouble them, that they might take the city.

Ezra 10:11-12
Now therefore, make confession to the LORD God of your fathers, and do His will; separate yourselves from the peoples of the land, and from the pagan wives.Then all the assembly answered and said with a loud voice, “Yes! As you have said, so we must do

Proverbs 27:14
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning,
It will be counted a curse to him.

Isaiah 36:13
Then the Rabshakeh stood and called out with a loud voice in Hebrew, and said, “Hear the words of the great king, the king of Assyria!

Luke 1:42
Then she spoke out with a loud voice and said, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!

Luke 23: 23
But they were insistent, demanding with loud voices that He be crucified. And the voices of these men and of the chief priests prevailed.

Acts 7:57
Then they cried out with a loud voice, stopped their ears, and ran at him with one accord; (stoning of Stephen, who loudly implores God not charge them with the crime they’re committing)

Acts 14:10
said with a loud voice, “Stand up straight on your feet!” And he leaped and walked.

Acts 16:28
But Paul called with a loud voice, saying, “Do yourself no harm, for we are all here.”

Acts 26:24-25
Now as he thus made his defense, Festus said with a loud voice, “Paul, you are beside yourself! Much learning is driving you mad!” But he said, “I am not mad, most noble Festus, but speak the words of truth and reason.(note Paul doesn’t shout back?)
When people cried out with a loud voice to Creator God
2 Sam 15:23
And all the country wept with a loud voice, and all the people crossed over. The king himself also crossed over the Brook Kidron, and all the people crossed over toward the way of the wilderness.

2 Chronicles 15:14-15
Then they took an oath before the LORD with a loud voice, with shouting and trumpets and rams’ horns. And all Judah rejoiced at the oath, for they had sworn with all their heart and sought Him with all their soul; and He was found by them, and the LORD gave them rest all around.

2 Chronicles 20:19
Then the Levites of the children of the Kohathites and of the children of the Korahites stood up to praise the LORD God of Israel with voices loud and high.
(In response to God telling them He would go out with them into battle)

2. People being loud to God

Ezra 3:12-13

But many of the priests and Levites and heads of the fathers’ houses, old men who had seen the first temple, wept with a loud voice when the foundation of this temple was laid before their eyes. Yet many shouted aloud for joy, so that the people could not discern the noise of the shout of joy from the noise of the weeping of the people, for the people shouted with a loud shout, and the sound was heard afar off.

Nehemiah 9:3-4
And they stood up in their place and read from the Book of the Law of the LORD their God for one-fourth of the day; and for another fourth they confessed and worshiped the LORD their God. Then Jeshua, Bani, Kadmiel, Shebaniah, Bunni, Sherebiah, Bani, and Chenani stood on the stairs of the Levites and cried out with a loud voice to the LORD their God.
(Notice the heart with which they were crying out that takes up the rest of the chapter: they bless His name, they confess He is Lord, they state what He has made, they state His choice of Abraham, then recounting their spiritual history and how He has worked despite people’s disobedience, praising His mercies and sustenance, His gift of nations and kingdoms, His rest, His Testament against them to bring them back, His patience and justice and finally acknowledging the position of servant to Him.)

Esther 4:1
When Mordecai learned all that had happened, he tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the midst of the city. He cried out with a loud and bitter cry.

Ezekiel 11:13
Now it happened, while I was prophesying, that Pelatiah the son of Benaiah died. Then I fell on my face and cried with a loud voice, and said, “Ah, Lord GOD! Will You make a complete end of the remnant of Israel?”

Luke 17:15
And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, ( the one of ten healed lepers)

Luke 19:37
Then, as He was now drawing near the descent of the Mount of Olives, the whole multitude of the disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works they had seen,

Acts 7:60
Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

Revelation 5:11-12
Then I looked, and I heard the voice of many angels around the throne, the living creatures, and the elders; and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice:
“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
To receive power and riches and wisdom,
And strength and honor and glory and blessing!”

Revelation 6:10
And they cried with a loud voice, saying, “How long, O Lord, holy and true, until You judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?”

Revelation 7:9-10
After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could number, of all nations, tribes, peoples, and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, saying, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”

3. Ungodly Spirits crying out in a loud voice

Mark 5:7
And he cried out with a loud voice and said, “What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God that You do not torment me.”

Luke 4:33
Now in the synagogue there was a man who had a spirit of an unclean demon. And he cried out with a loud voice,

Luke 8:28
When he saw Jesus, he cried out, fell down before Him, and with a loud voice said, “What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg You, do not torment me!”

Acts 8:7
For unclean spirits, crying with a loud voice, came out of many who were possessed; and many who were paralyzed and lame were healed.

4. God’s Angels

Revelation 5:2

Then I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, “Who is worthy to open the scroll and to loose its seals?”

Revelation 5:11-12
Then I looked, and I heard the voice of many angels around the throne, the living creatures, and the elders; and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice:
“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
To receive power and riches and wisdom,
And strength and honor and glory and blessing!”

Revelation 7:2
Then I saw another angel ascending from the east, having the seal of the living God. And he cried with a loud voice to the four angels to whom it was granted to harm the earth and the sea,

Revelation 8:13
And I looked, and I heard an angel flying through the midst of heaven, saying with a loud voice, “Woe, woe, woe to the inhabitants of the earth, because of the remaining blasts of the trumpet of the three angels who are about to sound!”

Revelation 10:3
and cried with a loud voice, as when a lion roars. When he cried out, seven thunders uttered their voices.

Revelation 12:10
Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.

Revelation 14:7
saying with a loud voice, “Fear God and give glory to Him, for the hour of His judgment has come; and worship Him who made heaven and earth, the sea and springs of water.”

Revelation 14:9
Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand,

Revelation 14:15
And another angel came out of the temple, crying with a loud voice to Him who sat on the cloud, “Thrust in Your sickle and reap, for the time has come for You to reap, for the harvest of the earth is ripe.”

Revelation 14:18
And another angel came out from the altar, who had power over fire, and he cried with a loud cry to him who had the sharp sickle, saying, “Thrust in your sharp sickle and gather the clusters of the vine of the earth, for her grapes are fully ripe.”

Revelation 19:17
Then I saw an angel standing in the sun; and he cried with a loud voice, saying to all the birds that fly in the midst of heaven, “Come and gather together for the supper of the great God,
When Jesus or God cried out with a loud voice
Ezekiel 8:17-18
And He said to me, “Have you seen this, O son of man? Is it a trivial thing to the house of Judah to commit the abominations which they commit here? For they have filled the land with violence; then they have returned to provoke Me to anger. Indeed they put the branch to their nose.Therefore I also will act in fury. My eye will not spare nor will I have pity; and though they cry in My ears with a loud voice, I will not hear them.”

Ezekiel 9:1-2
Then He called out in my hearing with a loud voice, saying, “Let those who have charge over the city draw near, each witha deadly weapon in his hand.” And suddenly six men came from the direction of the upper gate, which faces north, each with his battle-ax in his hand. One man among them was clothed with linen and had a writer’s inkhorn at his side. They went in and stood beside the bronze altar.

5. Jesus

Matt 27:46

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

Matt 27:50
And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit.

Mark 15:34
And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which is translated, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

Mark 15:37
And Jesus cried out with a loud voice, and breathed His last.

Luke 23:46
And when Jesus had cried out with a loud voice, He said, “Father, ‘into Your hands I commit My spirit.’ ” Having said this, He breathed His last.

John 11:43
Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth!”

6. Music loudly

Exodus 19:16
Then it came to pass on the third day, in the morning, that there were thunderings and lightnings, and a thick cloud on the mountain; and the sound of the trumpet was very loud, so that all the people who were in the camp trembled.

2 Chronicles 30:21
So the children of Israel who were present at Jerusalem kept the Feast of Unleavened Bread seven days with great gladness; and the Levites and the priests praised the LORD day by day, singing to the LORD, accompanied by loud instruments.

Nehemiah 12:42
also Maaseiah, Shemaiah, Eleazar, Uzzi, Jehohanan, Malchijah, Elam, and Ezer. The singers sang loudly with Jezrahiah the director. (There were two Thanksgiving choirs)

Psalm 33:3
Sing to Him a new song;
Play skillfully with a shout of joy.

Psalm 98:4
Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth;
Break forth in song, rejoice, and sing praises.

Psalm 150:5
Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with clashing cymbals!

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